if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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