i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Duck Duck Cougar?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He felt like a one man threesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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