she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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