come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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