Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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