did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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