we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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