i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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