lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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