he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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