in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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