Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
