I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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