he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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