But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
