a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
