i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
