woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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