There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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