i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
