And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
