careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
