Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room