i just google imaged poop.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
