No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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