You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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