PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
