I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Four minutes until I can fart!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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