I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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