new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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