true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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