I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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