Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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