when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
