you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
