I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
