Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
