Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize