I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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