Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
