once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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