Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
