and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
