And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
