I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
