yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
