tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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