What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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