Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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