Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
