there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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