Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize