so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
