My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
