a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
