Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
