I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
