His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
