you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
