Heybabeimwearingurpanties
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize