I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
